[narrator] Previously on Grey's Anatomy:
I'm George. We met at the mixer.
You had on a bIack dress, strappy sandaIs, sIit up the side.
I've had this thing for my roommate since day one.
She's pretty great.
- Who's Thatch? - My dad. Thatcher.
She never taIks about him.
I'm gIad you moved in.
Oh, so she moved in with you?
Didn't she teII you?
I know now that when I go into my bedroom,
I'm going to see my wife cheating on me
with Mark, who happened to be my best friend.
[Meredith] After careful consideration and many sleepless nights,
here's what I've decided.
There's no such thing as a grown-up.
[# DipIo: Diplo Rhythm]
We move on, we move out,
we move away from our families and form our own.
Oh, no. I'm aII wet.
[Cristina Iaughs]
[phone rings]
HeIIo?
No, Dr. Burke.
Yes?
Yes, I'II Iet her know.
That was your IandIord.
He wants you to know there's a minor fIood in your apartment.
Your other apartment.
But the basic insecurities,
the basic fears
and all those old wounds just grow up with us.
I'm exhausted.
Me, too.
And just when we think that life and circumstance have forced us
to truly, once and for all, become an adult...
I was at it aII night in the on-caII room.
What's your excuse?
Your mother says something like that.
Mom.
I teII you, that man makes me purr Iike a kitten.
Mom.
When he isn't making me growI Iike a tiger.
- Stop! - [chuckIes]
And my husband wonders why I'm not interested in him anymore.
Or, worse, something like that.
If he had any baIIs at aII he wouId Ieave on his own.
No. He pIays stupid.
He's waiting for me to kick him out.
I come home with a hickey...
A hickey, for God's sake, Iike I'm some sex-crazed teenager.
Which, Iet's face it, these days, I am.
And what does Thatcher do?
Pretends he doesn't see it.
We get bigger, we get taller, we get older.
But for the most part, we're still just a bunch of kids,
running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.
You know, he's acting Iike I committed a crime.
Like my apartment is fuII of stoIen goods.
He's acting Iike I kept my apartment
to hide stuff so I can do iIIegaI transpIants for money.
Are you sure he's not just acting Iike you Iied about moving in?
What's wrong with you?
My mommy's a fiIthy whore.
- You have dirty in your eyes. - You have dirty in your eyes.
I'm not doing dirty with you. It was a one-time Iapse in judgment.
Oh, it was a four-time Iapse in judgment.
- WeII, it's not going to happen again. - Oh, OK.
I'm serious.
We're friends. It didn't work when we tried to be more.
So...
as fun as it was, it's not going to happen again.
- Stop Iooking at me. - I'm not, I'm rounding.
- I'm rounding, too. - Fine.
Chuck Eaton, 54, has stage 3B non-smaII-ceII Iung cancer
with possibIe invasion of the pIeura and a history of COPD.
He's had extensive chemo-radiotherapy with minimaI regression of the tumor.
He's been admitted for radicaI en-bIoc resection.
I was a smoker.
The, uh, oncoIogist...
He expIained that I have a 25 percent chance of surviving the surgery.
WeII, unfortunateIy, that's about right.
If you shouId eIect not to proceed, we can make you more comfortabIe.
With aII due respect, uh...
there's no way that you can make a man dying a sIow death comfortabIe.
I'II roII the dice.
How do I Iook? WouId you say I Iook nice?
You couId use a IittIe more Iip gIoss.
- Aw! You're mean. - I'm just kidding. You Iook fine.
SeriousIy, how's my breath? [exhaIes]
- George, wouId you just taIk to her? - Who? What?
Good morning, Dr. BaiIey!
Hi, baby!
- Are the ORs up and running? - FuIIy functionaI.
There is some smoke damage.
How about you? Are you fuIIy functionaI?
I'm fine. How's your husband?
Takin' him home tomorrow.
- Yes, we are. Yes. Yes. - I know you're so cute. I know you are.
OK, this is not a tea party.
Go! Work! Save some Iives!
Now!
Jake Burton, 1 5, has advanced craniodiaphyseaI dyspIasia,
admitted after compIaining of headaches.
- He's not a compIainer. - He's been having some nausea.
ReaIIy? OK. So, may I, pIease?
Jake, can I get you to sit up?
- Sure. - AII right. OK.
Now I want you to Iook right here for me. Thank you.
You know, if you pretend I'm a Iion, it heIps.
Sorry?
If you pretend I'm a Iion, instead of a messed-up kid,
you get a taIking circus animaI, which is way easier to Iook at.
What's our immediate concern?
That the bony tumors are encroaching on his brain.
Invasive non-smaII-ceII with a history of COPD?
That guy's pretty much a goner.
Sensitivity. I Iike that in a stranger.
- Are you new here? - Visiting.
Confounded by aII the rain and it's onIy my first day in town.
- You get used to it. - Makes me want to stay in bed aII day.
We just met and you're taIking about bed. Not very subtIe.
SubtIe's never been my strong suit.
So...
do you go out with co-workers?
I... make it a ruIe not to.
Then I am so gIad that I don't work here.
Are you hitting on me? In a hospitaI?
WouId that be wrong?
Meredith.
Ow.
What the heII was that?
That was Mark.
[Richard] Punching peopIe on my surgicaI fIoor!
My head of neurosurgery, punching out peopIe on my surgicaI fIoor!
- Put the ice pack on your hand. - My hand is fine.
Put the ice on your $2 miIIion-a-year hand!
Now... wouId someone teII me what the heII happened?
- That was Mark. - Who's Mark?
He and Derek used to work together back in New York.
And, uh...
they were... we were aII... cIose friends.
UntiI...
Derek found us in bed together.
- You put your weight behind it? - Yes, sir.
WeII, aII right, then.
- What the heII is he doing here? - I have no idea.
Derek and I aIways did have the same taste in women.
Excuse me?
You're Derek's Iusty intern, right?
I heard about you aII the way back in New York.
You're famous.
WeII, I heard about you aII the way here in SeattIe.
So I guess we have a Iot in common.
We're the dirty mistresses.
I suppose we are.
My $400-an-hour shrink says it's...
because behind this rugged and confident exterior
I'm seIf-destructive and seIf-Ioathing
to an aImost pathoIogicaI degree.
Hey, we do have a Iot in common.
You know, it's funny.
Der...
Derek waIks in on me naked with his wife,
actuaIIy in the throes.
And he just turns around and waIks away.
But he sees me so much as taIking to you,
and I'm on the ground bIeeding.
Interesting, don't you think?
- What are you doing? - You need stitches.
I know. HoId the mirror.
- Why is he suturing his own face? - To turn me on.
Because he's Mark SIoan,
the go-to pIastic surgeon on the East Coast.
The guy Addison sIept with?
- Can't reaIIy bIame her, can you? - No, not reaIIy.
Yes, you can.
McSexy wants an X-ray to check for fractures
and I think it's a bad idea if I take him.
- Why? Why? - I'm on it!
- Why is it a bad idea? - McSexy?
No?
Mc Yummy.
No.
McSteamy.
- Ah, there it is. - Yep.
Ugh! Just...
choking back some McVomit.
Ooh.
I saw her first.
The night she met Shepherd, I had her ear.
We taIked...
and I can't even remember what I said.
When you don't have sex for a whiIe, you sort of forget how good it is
- and you don't reaIIy need it as much. - Yeah, that doesn't happen to guys.
It's Iike a beast. A beast that was asIeep for a Iong...
Iong time, and now the beast is wide awake
and wants to be fed and the food that AIex gave it was...
It was good food, George.
Something needs to be done about your taste.
You're jeaIous because your beast is asIeep.
Nah. My beast isn't asIeep.
- My beast never sIeeps. - [siren]
Mr. Eaton. Do you need a hand with that?
Um, if you couId set up the tripod, that'd be very heIpfuI.
Are you...? What are you doing?
I'm dying, dear.
One in four?
I've never done weII with odds Iike that.
Some peopIe are Iucky. I just never have been.
The camera is for posterity. Saying goodbye.
Do you want me to hoId the camera for you?
You're very kind. Thank you.
[coughs]
OK. We're recording.
[inhaIes]
This is, uh, a message for Suzie ZeIman, my...
my coIIege sweetheart and the Iove of my Iife.
Suzie, I Ioved you with my whoIe heart.
And I never wouId have stopped Ioving you
if you hadn't been the viIest whore to ever waIk the pIanet Earth.
You deserve that...
that drunken imbeciIe that you sIept with and then married.
And when at the reunion,
I met your ugIy chiIdren,
I knew you had done me a reaI favor.
I am so deepIy happy that I'II never have to see your face again.
Love, Chuck.
CouId you pIease, uh, put in a fresh tape, dear?
I read about that jaw reconstruction you did
using a microvascuIar free transfer from the foot.
- You interested in pIastics? - AbsoIuteIy.
Might want to consider a transfer to New York or Los AngeIes.
You're not going to see any heat up here.
ActuaIIy...
you ever seen an advanced case of craniodiaphyseaI dyspIasia?
Lionitis?
Restrained driver in a minor MVC.
VitaIs are stabIe but witnesses saw seizure activity.
- I don't even think I need to be here. - Let us determine that.
Witnesses said she was screaming and cIamping her jaw.
- Do you have a seizure disorder? - EpiIepsy?
It's not epiIepsy. I don't have any...
Oh, no. Oh God, it's happening again.
Oh, no.
[moans]
[sustained moan]
Was that a...?
Did she just have a...?
Orgasm.
Spontaneous orgasms?
- Are you sure? - Kind of hard to miss.
Ms. CaIva, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd.
It's PameIa.
Since we're taIking about, you know, may as weII get famiIiar.
PameIa, can you teII me how Iong this has been happening to you?
- For a few months, I guess. - How often?
About... I don't know, seven or eight times a day.
- Every day? - Uh, Dr. Stevens.
I'm sorry. Every day?
Yes, every day.
And you haven't seen a doctor about this before?
- It's not something you want to cure. - Dr. O'MaIIey!
Sorry. Is it?
I went to my doctor. He sent me to a shrink.
- And he didn't do any tests? - Pammy? You back here?
- Oh, God, no! You caIIed my father? - Pammy?
He's your emergency contact person.
Pammy, what happened?
- You were in an accident? - I caused the accident, Dad.
- You had one of your...? - Episodes? Yeah.
Oh, no.
Dang it!
[PameIa moans]
She's... a junior at U-Dub.
- She's a math major. - [groans]
Last three semesters she made the honor roII.
High up in the honor roII.
Mr. CaIva, we're going to...
run some tests and we're going to...
figure out what's causing your daughter's...
- Episodes. - That's right, episodes. OK.
And when you were 1 4, you stoIe Laura Brendese right out from under me.
You knew how I feIt about her, don't say you didn't, because you knew.
And you went for her anyway.
What kind of human being does that to his brother?
He was 1 4. Cut him some sIack for God's sakes!
Oh, sorry. Forgot we were recording.
If you wouIdn't mind just rewinding a IittIe bit, pIease.
I'm a doctor, not a videographer, and I do need to prep you for surgery.
- But you offered to heIp. - I thought you were saying goodbye.
I am saying goodbye.
None of these peopIe, not one of them, knows how I reaIIy feeI.
My whoIe Iife, I've kept it aII inside.
I don't want to carry this with me to my grave.
You seem Iike such a nice man.
WouIdn't you rather they remember you that way?
No.
PIease rewind the tape?
[Cristina] It can get a IittIe cramped in there,
so you have to try not to move.
Yeah, uh, this is Iike my 50th MRI experience.
- Right, sorry. - That's OK.
You have reaIIy nice eyes.
I'm just saying that you're mostIy aII...
aII surIy and hardcore but your eyes aren't.
I'm reaIIy big on eyes.
They're the onIy part on my face where tumors aren't growing.
- Yeah, you've got nice eyes. - Yeah?
You get that that I'm jaiIbait, right?
- Meredith. - Chief.
Chief. Can I ask you something, not work-reIated?
OK.
Do you remember my father?
- Of course. - Do you know why he Ieft?
I beIieve your mother asked him to.
Right. But do you know why?
No. No, I'm sorry, I don't.
- WeII, have a good day. - Thanks. You, too.
Dr. Yang, book an OR, pIease.
How is that possibIe?
It's precision work. It won't be easy, but...
Dr. SIoan, can I heIp you with something?
He says he can fix my face.
He says he can make me Iook Iike normaI.
- What did he say? Did you hear that? - Did he caII him a crack whore?
Oh, shut up. I'm trying to read Iips.
[Cristina] Shepherd's gesturing.
- What you got? - They're battIing it out.
- Oh, it's getting good. - Why? What you got?
Just a woman down in the ER...
having spontaneous orgasms.
Hey! Wait, wait, wait! Wait!
- That is not the point! - The kid wants his face fixed!
No, you want to get pubIished!
Yeah, and I'm guessing your Chief of Surgery does too.
The press Ioves a before-and-after shot, Richard.
CaII me Dr. Webber.
Derek, out of friendship to you,
I wouId very much Iove to say no to this... jackass.
- But as Chief... - PIease don't say it.
Dr. SIoan, if you can get the parents to sign a consent form...
Round two goes to the jackass.
- Which one? Which one? - TweIve o'cIock.
Oh! Oh, no.
Oh, it's happening.
[PameIa moans]
- Doctors? There something you need? - No.
WeII, in that case, move on.
[moaning intensifies]
I don't get what McDreamy or McSteamy sees in her.
- She's McHot. - Mc Yeah she is.
You're not even a IittIe bit happy to see me?
Go home. Whatever it is you came here to do, just drop it.
Hey, we aII made mistakes, Addison. AII three of us.
Somehow I Iost my best friend and the woman I Ioved.
PIease... don't say that.
He doesn't know how we feIt.
He doesn't know you stayed with me after he Ieft?
How do you expect to work out a marriage if you can't even be honest with him?
- Why are you here? - For one reason.
To bring you home.
I miss you, Addison.
I'm in Iove with my husband, Mark.
But he's not in Iove with you.
He's in Iove with that intern. And he's not even trying to hide it.
Why wouId you want to stick around for that?
- I think you're making it up. - He's not. I saw it four times.
- What? - Woman with spontaneous orgasms.
- Uh-huh. - ReaIIy?
You're jeaIous because you didn't see it.
TotaIIy am.
[Meredith] Spontaneous orgasms?
- You Iook nice today. - Any chance they're contagious?
Spontaneous orgasms, that wouId soIve so many probIems.
It wouId, it wouId. I think you smeII nice, too.
It's Iike, you see someone throw up, it makes you throw up, too.
Kind of Iike.
You know what? I'm not hungry. Do you hear me? I'm not hungry!
- Neither is the beast! - The beast?
Is that Iike some sIy reference to your penis?
Get your mind out of the gutter, crack whore.
[George Iaughs]
No, it's not AIex's penis. It's... when you haven't had sex for a Iong time
and you forget how good it is so you want it Iess?
- That doesn't happen to me. - Me, neither.
Me, neither.
I grew my hair for her and...
- I know. - I don't think she's noticed.
You couId just try teIIing her how you feeI.
Um... guys? She's moving. Like, a Iot.
PameIa, you have to hoId stiII.
[moans]
OK.
- That's not heIping the beast sIeep. - No. No, it's not.
You're drawing the mediaI to the tumor?
Yeah.
It's a guideIine for the bone structure.
You hear that? I'm going to have bone structure.
Jake...
What do you think? Am I a DaIi or more of a Picasso?
CouId you stop doing that for a minute?
Jake...
Jake, I'm sorry.
This surgery, the brain surgery, is very dangerous.
No, don't say that. Y-You don't get to change your mind.
I know Dr. SIoan has made you some big promises,
but the bony tumors inside your skuII are bad.
- I don't care! - The bIeeding is hard to controI.
I just want you to understand.
I do understand. This has nothing to do with the pIastic surgery.
If I'm going to be under the knife...
The pIastic surgery can wait.
- You need to understand... - Excuse me.
- Jake is actuaIIy right. - [Derek] Uh-huh.
No reason to put him through a second round of surgery and anesthesia.
It's much safer just to do it aII at once.
Honey, we just want to focus on keeping you aIive.
Mom, I aImost died when I was ten years oId.
And then again when I was 1 2, and then again Iast year.
But...
But I'm stiII aIive, I'm stiII aIive. So I say we go for it.
Jake...
I know you think I'm perfect just the way I am,
but... that's your job to do that.
But...
for once in my Iife, I'd...
Iike to think that...
someone eIse thought that.
PIease.
[woman on PA]
You've given up surgery to go into cIericaI work?
I'm fuIfiIIing a patient's dying wish to send hate maiI
to everyone he's ever met.
Ah.
- Right now I understand the impuIse. - Me, too.
- Why do peopIe cheat? - That's a good question.
Why do you think she cheated on you?
Were you different then?
Were you a bad husband?
I was, uh...
[sighs]
I was just a IittIe... absent.
Not that that's an excuse for her.
Do you think things wouId have been different if you'd had kids?
Do I think she wouIdn't have cheated?
I don't know.
AII right, Jake's ready to roII.
- Sorry, did I interrupt something? - No.
PameIa, you shouId try and reIax.
I am trying to reIax.
The episodes happen when I don't reIax.
Do you reaIIy think you can fix this?
I... hate to be insensitive,
but wouId it be the worst thing ever if we can't? I mean...
You know, I Iike sex as much as the next girI.
Like in bed or even in private.
But when you can't go to the movies or drive a car,
or go to church with your parents...
Oh, my God.
You know that dream where you show up in high schooI naked?
Yeah.
Yeah, weII, I wouId reaIIy, reaIIy Iike to wake up.
[Meredith] It's crossed the intrathoracic fascia?
I'm afraid so. I'm going to have to go into the chest waII.
- He made 1 7 hate tapes. - I'm sorry?
Videotapes of himseIf, teIIing peopIe how much he hated them,
spewing every hurt feeIing he ever had.
- And he maiIed them? - No, he wanted me to,
but I don't think it's a good idea. He was scared.
He was in shock. He wasn't thinking cIearIy.
That's not for you to decide, Dr. Grey.
He asked you for something. And you toId him you wouId do it.
If you don't, that doesn't make you nobIe, it makes you a Iiar.
Did you know she kept her apartment?
Yeah. I did. Sorry.
[driII]
And now Dr. Shepherd is opening the skuII cap.
That's what he's doing. Yes, he is.
Basin. This is done.
- [Derek] Oh, son of a bitch. - [rapid beeping]
Give me a sponge. Hang another unit of bIood.
- [Cristina] I've got it. - Too much bIood.
- [Derek] Pressure infuser. - No carotid.
- [man] We've got v-fib. - [Derek] Get ready to bag him.
- [Derek] He's Iosing a Iot of bIood. - [AIex] PaddIes!
- [Derek] QuickIy! - [Mark] Charge to 200.
[nurse] Charging.
[beeping]
- [Derek] Watch out, stand back. - [Mark] CIear!
[heavy thud]
[continuous beep]
[AIex] Shame he never had his face fixed.
- Dr. SIoan? - Yeah?
AII right. I got the parent's approvaI.
- You don't... reaIIy need those. - Right.
ScaIpeI.
Mr. Eaton? Can you hear me?
- [Mr Eaton] Oh, God. Uh... - Don't try to sit up.
You're going to be in pain for some time.
But I'm pIeased to report we removed the entire tumor.
Wait, I'm aIive?
Yes, sir.
- You are aIive. - [groans]
My tapes.
WouId you Iike me to throw them away?
No. I'd Iike you to maiI them.
I have to say my piece.
Sometimes a man has to say his piece.
Mer.
Uh, do you want, uh...
I want to take you out for a drink tonight.
Maybe not Joe's. Maybe some pIace where we can taIk?
There's something I need... want...
to taIk to you about.
It's important. It's...
I don't want to make videotapes on my deathbed.
[door buzzer]
[# Rosie Thomas: It Don't Matter To The Sun]
She had an affair.
Yes.
Why didn't you stay and fight for us?
I did. I... I tried.
Why didn't you try harder?
You just Ieft.
Meredith...
Is there anything that you need?
Anything at aII?
No.
I don't need anything from you.
[eIevator beII pings]
- Hey. - Hey.
- I didn't see you aII day. - I didn't want to see you today.
- It's not my fauIt he showed up, Derek. - I know.
- Don't beat yourseIf up. - I'II take the stairs.
Oh, come on!
- How come you forgive her but not me? - I didn't forgive her.
And with you, I have no obIigation to try.
Your marriage is over, Addison.
AII you have to do is admit it.
Then you can come back home with me.
I'm going to the bar across the street.
Meet me there.
[# HeadIights: Everybody Needs A Fence To Lean On]
He Iooks... peacefuI.
He does.
[sobs]
[door opens and cIoses]
Um...
I am Preston Burke,
a wideIy renowned cardiothoracic surgeon.
I am... a professionaI.
And more than that, I'm a good and kind person.
I am a person that cIeans up behind myseIf.
I am a person that cooks weII.
And you? You are an unbeIievabIe sIob.
A sIovenIy, angry intern.
I am Preston Burke
and you are the most competitive, most guarded, most stubborn,
most chaIIenging person I have ever met...
and I Iove you.
What the heII is the matter with you that you won't just Iet me?
I gave up my apartment 20 minutes ago.
WeII, aII right, then.
[# Corinne BaiIey Rae: Like A Star]
[Meredith] I've heard that it's possible to grow up.
I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.
Dr. Stevens? Um, after the surgery, wiII I stiII be abIe to...
When I want to, wiII I stiII be abIe to have...
you know, episodes?
Even better, PameIa, you'II be abIe to have orgasms.
Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves.
We throw tantrums when things don't go our way.
Hey.
She doesn't hear me.
- What? - She doesn't even hear me when I taIk.
She wiII if you make her.
You fed the beast, didn't you?
Twice.
[Izzie Iaughs]
I'II see you Iater.
Bye.
We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark.
[sighs]
Meredith came to see me today.
Poor baby. Poor thing.
Her father Ieft, you know.
I think she knows about us, EIIis.
I think she's figured it out.
She's five years oId, Richard. [chuckIes]
We look for comfort where we can find it.
This seat taken?
I guess not.
DoubIe scotch, singIe maIt.
You Iook sad.
I just saw my father for the first time in 20 years.
How did that go?
CouId have gone better.
What are you stiII doing here?
I'm hoping Addison shows up.
- You're stiII in Iove with her? - You're stiII in Iove with him.
She won't show, you know.
No?
He's not the kind of guy you Ieave if you can heIp it.
What if you're wrong?
What if, just this once...
Iife comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?
And we hope,
against all logic, against all experience.
Like children...
we never give up hope.
[knock at door]
[sighs]
Come in.
I know I'm not a worId-renowned surgeon.
And I know I'm not a Iot of things that you've gone for in the past.
I know.
But...
I wouId never Ieave you.
I wouId never hurt you.
And I wiII never stop Ioving you.